Monday, 23 June 2014

June 24: Gee lawyers say some stupid things ...


Now I’ve heard some beauties in my time at the Bar
I’ve heard witnesses make statements absurd
And I’ve heard lawyers say things you could not believe
Whether viva voce or written in words

I’ve heard counsel ask coppers of things they’ve not done
And things they've not spied at the scene
“That blood on the ground, that you saw with your eyes”
“Was there more blood that could not be seen”

“After the crash, how fast was he driving”
“How did he look before you saw his face first”
Some of the questions defy even the most stupid
I have trouble knowing which one is worst

“Your dead friend, did you meet him before he had died”
“Well I must have, it could not have been after”
There are so many lines where just a word out of place
Has your jury howling with laughter

“When the caller he called you, who else was there”
“The man in the dock, was it him you arrested”
“And that radar gun you were using, how’d you know it would work”
“Cause every damn morning I test it”

Be very careful of all the questions you ask
Cross-examination is a task taken with care
Ill thought out questions invite answers that hurt
Don’t be dropping your head in despair

No-one is perfect, but some are quite close
Preparation is the key to your task
And if you don’t know, there's just one thing to do
Find somebody smarter and ask

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