April 12: Yep, another one ...

There’s an old Australian entertainer, lying, denying

And he walks up into the witness box, takes an oath, and says to the Court

Where victims, reporters and his family are gathered …

I didn't do anything wrong, John, I didn’t do anything wrong

She gave me the greatest come on, John, I didn't do anything wrong

She only sat on me lap, Pat, she only sat on me lap

What she told is a whole heap of crap, Pat, but she only sat on me lap

She was 18 when we met, pet, she was 18 when we met

I’m a lovely bloke so don’t fret, pet, she was 18 when we met

I went up to read her a book, Brooke, I went up to read her a book

My intentions she must have mistook, Brooke, I just went up to read her a book

I won’t be pleading to this, Chris, I won’t be pleading to this

These girls are taking the piss, Chris, I wont be pleading this

You know I painted the Queen, Christine, you know I painted the Queen

A painting that won’t ever be seen, Christine, you know I painted the Queen

It’s all made up in her head, Fred, it’s all made up in her head

Yes I know lay in her bed, Fred, but it’s all made up in her head

When I sang about two little boys, Troy, I didn’t mean to be coy

And I never played with their toys, Troy, when I sang about two little boys

For each one I've got an excuse, Bruce, for each one I have an excuse
They're the best stories I can produce, Bruce, for each one I have an excuse