Sunday 9 February 2014

February 9: The heat is getting to me ...


It was 42 out side today, our car it melted, and drained away
When I saw that happen what could I say, so I went and had a beer
Our air-con's working overtime, I goes on in the morning and off at nine
My electric bills have gone sky-high, but at least it keeps me cool

Our garden screams out "H2O", and where did all the flowers go?
Where there once was green now brown does show, next year I'll plant some more
The chooks are taking cooking courses, herbs and spices from secret sources
The heat it must have mystic forces, I wander to the fridge

My motorbike ride I did abort, 'cause my water pump is down a quart
The burning sun I should report, but I'm welded to my chair
I turn the tap on and burn my hands, I really do not understand
How cold it gets in Iceland, but I wish that I was there

It's half past five and the sky is burning, from pink to red my skin is turning
For another beer, I am yearning, oh yes, here comes one now
I wonder when the sun goes down, what will happen in this town
Will everyone just all sit down, and get welded to their chair

I've got to cook the steaks tonight, I look outside, it's just so bright
Why don't we just have Vegemite, no need to barbeque
When the sun it sets I'll go outside, but from the sun my skin I'll hide
On go the steaks then I'll run inside, to get another beer

I'm opening my sixtyfourteenth beer, I know exactly what's happening here
My barmaid's getting in my ear, she says I've had enough
Drinking in the sun is cool, you have foursixteen, you think you're full
But the sun it tricks you like a fool, you're in a world of hurt

I'm smelling smoke, no it's okay, the barbeque is miles away
The steaks are on fire but I'm okay, it's pizza then, alright?
It's nine o'clock and it's still an oven, I'm starting to feel just a little bit sloven
But I don't care 'cause I'm having another'un, just one more little drink

The fire's out, but so am I, the fridge is bare, I begin to cry
The ice-cream man's just driven by, I really need a drink
I open the cupboard, I am saved, a bottle of JD keeps me enslaved
It will do but it's beer I craved; who cares, the night is young

The sun is gone, oh joy of joys, hey, what is all that background noise?
Across the road, the girls and boys, are playing cricket in the street
I should go across and get involved, all my problems could be solved
All my inhibitions are disolved, by a slab of Coopers green

I got the bat and had a swing, I cracked it like you've never seen
Across the road and through the swing, and crash, through my front door
I wandered home, six and out; that was quick, I'll do without
Another Jack, it's not my shout, I really should retire

I'm searching for a line to end, this stupid rhyme so I can send
It to the web, to all my friends, so you can have a laugh
But on it goes, no quick conclusion, by now you're wondering, in confusion
What is this crap, is it an illusion? How would I know, I am hammered

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