Carriage one it
has big signs, if you can’t read them, I’d say you’re blind
“This carriage here
is not for noise, so keep it quiet girls and boys
Turn your phone
to silent, keep the music low, and don’t talk too loud or out you go”
So I take my seat
and settle down, but the bloke next door, he wears a frown
I watch his
manner, he’s not impressed, on his face a view expressed
I pull Paul Kelly
from my ears, his frown explained by what I can hear
With an Aussie accent,
and far too loud, the driver starts to address the crowd
“Thank you for
travelling with CityRail”; but wait, there’s more; he inhales
“Express to Wyong, just four stops, first there’s
Strathfield, mind the drop
Next is Eastwood,
then there’s Epping, as you alight watch where you’re stepping”
Is he finished? Nope,
not yet; my neighbour mutters, “Give me strength”
“The carriages,
the first and last, and the middle one”, he adds quite fast
“Are quiet ones,
so keep it low”; Good then, that’s all? Right, let’s go
No, he’s off
again, he's more to say, “CityRail hopes you had a very pleasant day”
That’s it buddy, now
please desist, you’ve said your bit, he’s getting pissed
The sounds of
silence are so serene, so very peaceful, or so it seemed
We’re still
at Central, we’ve not moved a bit, but he’s off again, this Aussie git
“Thank you for
travelling CityRail”, I lift my eyes, old mate’s gone pale
“We’re here at Central,
leaving soon, we hope you have a good afternoon”
“Strathfield, Eastwood,
Epping, Hornsby”; old mate’s getting quite annoyed
His commute to
home has not begun, and his patience is destroyed
“The carriages at
the front and rear are places where we don’t want to hear
Mobiles ringing,
or voices shout, if that’s your want then please move out”
He pauses, and we
think he’s done, but then he adds, perhaps for fun
“Please watch
your step as you alight the train, we don’t want you falling and feeling pain”
My neighbour rises
to his feet, he looks around and begins to speak
“I’m moving up to
carriage two, if he won’t shut up, that one will do”
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