January 14: I'm a pedigree ...

I'm a pedigree cat, I'm not eating that, get rid of it and get me some chicken

You should know better by now, I'm not eating cow, nor pork, fish or lamb am I licking

I only want food, that is clinically brewed, you know it was part of the deal

Please don't treat me that way, I will have my say, don't get clever and slip in some veal

I'm a pristine example of that cat on the mantle, the one you had stuffed when it died

I'll give you hint, about why it’s now skint, all the food you gave him was fried

Don't do that with me, or my sister Mollie, I'll be watching each move that you make

Herring or shark, would be such a lark, and there's no chicken breed I know as flake

Yes Mollie is ditzy, and she's so highly strung, she will jump at the slightest of noise

From a litter of eight, she arrived a bit late, just one girl amongst all those boys

You think it is funny as you rub on my tummy, but “Archie” is the name that you chose

Yes, bald's how I came, but "Archie-bald" is so lame, but it’s better than this attempt at some prose …